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My Life Till Now

So in 2008 my mother, father, brother, and myself all picked up and moved to Vermont. To a hotel of all places. Well it wasn’t that bad. I made friends with the night clerk and swam all the time, got my own room. So it really wasn’t all bad. I had a few dates with some guys. I was trying to stay away from Burger King at this point so I got hired on at Toys R Us. My life forever changed September 8, 2008. Why do you ask? This was the day I met my husband, Dan, my best friend, my pain in my butt, my everything. We started dating and dated for one and a half to two years. He proposed in March of 2010, right before he deployed to go overseas for the military. While he was away I planned our (okay my) dream wedding. It was perfect. I found the perfect dress, a cheap VFW hall, and a kick ass caterer! Our wedding food is still talk of the town. It was the best day ever, and I couldn’t ask for anything better. We had our first son, Conor George Deslauriers on April 16, 2012 at 12:16am. He was the next best thing we have ever done. We had four and a half glorious months with this lil' man.

My Saving Grace

On September 4th, 2012 (the day before my birthday) I took Conor to daycare and then got a phone call saying he was rushed to the hospital because he wasn’t breathing. It was the biggest shock/scare in my life. My mom and I rushed to the hospital to find out they did the best they could and he was declared deceased (god I hate this word). Over the next 24 hours it was so scary thinking I did something wrong to him—the questions, the doubt. After the results of the autopsy came in, it was found he had no trauma whatsoever. So what could it be? I had a huge relief knowing it was nothing that I, my husband, or even the daycare provider ever did. To this day we have never blamed the daycare, she did the best she could do in this situation. Six weeks go by after all the labs were sent in and everything came back negative. So yes, I am a Mom to a baby boy who passed away from SIDS, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Studies today show SIDS can be linked to a sleep reaction or chemical in the brain making it hard for the child to wake up. It fits for Conor since he was always a heavy sleeper. So we did what we know, we worked and we stayed busy. This didn’t last long. About six months later we were pregnant again with Angela Grace Deslauriers (meaning Angel of Grace) who was born January 3, 2014. She truly lives up to her name and at four years old still shows me the Grace that I need to continue each day. She is such a diva and a smarty pants, she would make you laugh. Grace was ready for this world—in actuality I was only in the hospital for 28 minutes before she was born. Crazy, right!

I will fast forward to 2016 when our second daughter, Georgina Rowan Deslauriers was born April 29, 2016. She was also a quick labor, but she is definitely stubborn. Georgina and her brother, when they were born, are almost identical. I really feel like she has part of his soul in her. She is so stubborn and such a brat but I love her. She is into everything, but now since she is two, she would be. I love my children with all my heart. They complete me even though they make me wish I was on my way to the moon.

Why Become a Surrogate?

I want to be able to provide the joy to a family that I had with Conor. He was my first child and I feel like every capable person should experience parenthood. I have always had this feeling of a need to be greater than myself, a need to do something. When surrogacy came across my mind five years ago, I never let that dream fade. I had Georgina and then was ready!

My husband, Dan, did not understand and you might not either. Take it this way, when you join the military you do it for your country and you know the danger you could be in—it’s the ultimate sacrifice. Well, it is the same feeling for me, it’s the ultimate sacrifice that I need to do in this lifetime. Am I nervous, scared, worried? Hell Yeah! But I am ready for the journey. People tell me it is so selfless of me to do this. To me, I am just doing a favor for someone, an ultimate blessing.

Plus all the perks of being pregnant. I love being pregnant and I don’t even mind the childbirth...after three I may be addicted to it.

I look forward to writing about this journey with you. Get ready for the craziness. Transfer should be very soon, and I am so excited!

To read more about Justine's story click here.