Setting Boundaries and Priorities During Surrogacy

Pregnant Woman Leaning on Tree

When you are becoming a gestational surrogate, you are going to need to take care of yourself during the process. In order to do this, you should know what your priorities, goals and boundaries will be during this extremely beautiful journey of gifting a healthy baby to a deserving family.

Establishing a good balance between your needs and the goals of others throughout your surrogacy will ultimately help you feel more secure in your experience.

The Value of Boundaries and Priorities

As a surrogate, it's essential to establish your plans with the intended parents to ensure a smooth and successful pregnancy journey. When everyone is clear about their expectations from the start, you can prevent misunderstandings and promote clear communication between all parties involved. It's crucial to have open and honest conversations about your expectations, needs and limitations.

By being transparent about your boundaries, you can create a comfortable and positive relationship with the intended parents while also ensuring that you feel respected and valued throughout the process. Remember, talking about how you see your surrogacy journey going for you is about creating a mutually beneficial relationship and ultimately having the best possible experience with the intended parents.

Being a Gestational Surrogate

As a surrogate, it's essential to recognize and understand the role you're playing in the lives of the intended parents. When you're carrying their child through gestational surrogacy, you're providing a remarkable gift that the intended parents can't give themselves.

By acknowledging your role and defining healthy goals, you can build a positive relationship with the intended parents while maintaining your autonomy and well-being. Your role as a surrogate is integral to their family-building journey, so it's crucial to communicate your boundaries and expectations clearly.

Make sure that you know that being a surrogate is a generous, kind role, so that you feel confident about speaking up about what you want and need during the process, you feel your best and you are in the best place to carry a child.

Communicate Your Priorities

As a surrogate, it's important to communicate your priorities clearly with the intended parents so that everyone knows what you need to have your best surrogate pregnancy. Being transparent about what you value most can help ensure that everyone is on the same page and working toward the same goals. When you prioritize maintaining a healthy and happy pregnancy, it's crucial to share your thoughts and feelings openly.

By doing so, you can build a foundation of trust and respect that will benefit everyone involved. With open communication and an upbeat attitude, you can help make the experience as smooth and rewarding as possible.

Consider Your Goals

As a surrogate, it’s important to reflect on what your goals are throughout the process. While it’s understandable to focus on the intended parents and their desires, it’s crucial to have your own intentions in mind as well. Maybe you hope to establish a strong relationship with the intended parents and perhaps you want to gain a sense of fulfillment from helping create a family.

It’s also important to consider your own personal values, and communicate these openly with the intended parents. Being a surrogate is a uniquely rewarding experience, and by setting clear goals for yourself, you can make the journey even more fulfilling.

Talk With the Intended Parents

When it comes to discussing surrogacy priorities with intended parents, there are a few key things to keep in mind. First and foremost, it's important to establish a strong sense of trust and open communication from the very beginning. This includes being transparent about your expectations, needs, and boundaries, as well as listening carefully to the intended parents' wishes and concerns.

Additionally, you'll want to make sure that you're on the same page when it comes to important factors like medical procedures, legal agreements and compensation. By working together to establish clear expectations and a solid plan of action, you can help ensure a successful and fulfilling surrogacy journey for all involved.

Prioritize Your Health

Your surrogacy journey is an exciting time filled with so much hope and potential. As you navigate this process, it's important to remember to make your health a top priority. Not only will taking care of yourself benefit you personally, but it will also ensure the best possible outcome for your surrogate and future child.

There are plenty of ways to prioritize your health throughout your gestational surrogacy journey, from incorporating regular exercise and healthy eating habits to seeking out emotional support when you need it. By taking these steps and staying committed to your well-being, you'll be setting yourself up for a great time.

Find Your Support System

Going through a surrogacy journey can feel overwhelming, so finding your support system of friends and family can make all the difference. It's important to surround yourself with individuals who are understanding, encouraging and willing to lend a listening ear when you need it. These individuals can be a shoulder to cry on during the tough times and cheerleaders during the exciting moments. 

A priority you set for yourself could be a weekly phone call or a coffee date, connecting with your support system can help ease the emotional and logistical challenges of surrogacy. With your amazing support system by your side, you can navigate this experience with confidence and comfort.

Establishing Your Personal Boundaries

It's essential to define your own limits and know what you're comfortable with. Are you willing to travel for the intended parents? How involved do you want to be in their lives after the baby is born? Are there specific medical procedures that you want or that you're not comfortable with?

These are all important questions to consider when deciding on your personal boundaries. Here are some other important considerations for you to make along your journey of helping another family grow:

Communication Preferences

One important aspect to consider when setting boundaries is how often and in what way you want to communicate with the intended parents. This can vary depending on your personal preferences and comfort levels. 

Some examples of communication methods include:

  • Text messaging

  • Video calls

  • Emails

Establishing clear expectations for communication will help both you and the intended parents maintain a positive relationship throughout the surrogacy process.

Time and Space Considerations

Another important boundary to establish is when and where you will spend time together with the intended parents. 

This could include:

  • Prenatal appointments

  • Social outings

  • Family gatherings

By determining these boundaries ahead of time, you can avoid any awkward situations or misunderstandings and ensure that everyone's needs are respected.

Balancing Your Own Family Dynamics

As a surrogate, it's crucial to consider how your own family fits into the picture. 

Some aspects to think about are:

  • How much involvement your partner and child(ren) will have in the surrogacy process.

  • Discussing the surrogacy journey with your family members to ensure they understand and support your decision.

  • Balancing your time and energy between your family and the surrogacy journey.

Taking the time to address these aspects of surrogacy will help create a more harmonious experience for everyone involved.

Are You Ready?

Becoming a surrogate is an incredible journey and a great way to give the greatest gift of all – family. And if you need advice on figuring out your priorities and boundaries while becoming a surrogate or need someone to talk to who has been through this process before, let us know how we can help you!